Bigfoot?

So I watched the history channel's documentary Bigfoot, a definitive guide.   And yeah, while it was the typical made for television documentary (ie, light on info, heavy on reenactments with just enough to keep you watching.) this one actually had enough late in the show to take the idea of Bigfoot truly existing and gave it an interesting spin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blzzkqkuS2A

  So, Does Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch look like this?

 Or like this?

  The premise of the show turned towards not, whether or not Bigfoot actually exists, to where did it come from?

  This got my brain going into overdrive (which is partially due to the show, and questions and observations from a friend who has the ability to make me think in different directions than I normally would.   Many thanks, Redcrow!)

  So here's the idea, Bigfoot, Yeti, whatever you call it, might actually be, in fact, an offshoot of the human tree, most likely a form of Neanderthal.

  First, lets look at common misconceptions about Neanderthal.

  Media and popular myth takes us into realms of wild conjecture and outright parody, but from what science has been able to identify so far;

  The transitional or missing link has been found and discounted many times (beginning with the Piltdown hoax of the early 1900s, which both steered theory until it was discovered a fake in the 1950s and other disputed claims since) the only thing that we know for sure is that Darwin's theory of Macro Evolution in which one species evolves into another, ie; Neanderthal evolving into modern man, has lost a lot of traction, primarily since the discovery of an neanderthal settlement in a cave in spain where they found more modern homosapiens buried beneath them, proving that, if anything they coexisted.

  This in no way discounts Micro Evolution, which points to environmental concerns that dictate the changes in humanity, such as the Maasai of Africa and the Inuit of the Arctic have striking differences but genetically are both more similar by far than different.

  Here's a question;   If you discount evolution as a cause, (seeing how as so many of these variant humans seem to have coexisted.)  then what would have caused so many different versions of essentially the same species?   Was this a long change brought on by environmental causes, then why did they come with homosapiens and then disappear almost as quickly?

  What kind of influence caused the human design to branch so far and so much in such a relatively short period of time?

  Was there a radiological event?   An asteroid impact that changed the climate and behavior, and even the appearance of the dawn of humanity?

  Or was nature simply experimenting by some fashion to decide which design was the best?

  Clearly Neanderthal, with it's bigger brain and stronger body was superior, or is there something that we haven't learned yet?

  Is the Biblical history of Nephilim and the sudden branching of humans thru breeding with angels an option to consider?

     When man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not abide in man forever, for he is flesh: his days shall be 120 years.” The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown.

(insert your own cause here; Angels, Extraterrestrial visitors, Zeus, whatever...) 

   This would explain the various forms of the human species.   So in that sense, these are abberations, genetic accidents?

   Within the bible, the earth is scourged by the Great Flood,  which is backed by the discovery of artifacts at the bottom of the Black Sea, lending truth to the story, which is not uncommon, most biblical stories of God intervening are backed by science, geological fault lines at the site of the biblical town of Jericho, etc.

  But let's not get off on a tangent, and assume for the case of a biblical source of Neanderthal, being the offspring of human and alien (not human that is) creating a new type of human, was curtailed by a flood, which to the writers of the scripture may have been their whole world, if not the actual world.

 We might even assume that it may have been the result of an asteroid strike that would bring on the effects shown, long term precipitation, (40 days?) a drastic change in weather as the skies are filled with debris and the other effects of a massive asteroid strike lend it's hands to leaving a very small group of survivors.

  But we can't ignore that others, may have in fact survived as well.   Perhaps in reduced numbers.

  So best guess, is that anatomically modern humans seem to go back father than any of the specimens found to date, not including those that seem to feed more into a traditional primate family.

  And except for what we call modern man, seemed to drop off  the radar for the most part in a short amount of time, relatively speaking.

  Now, evolution versus creationism debate, is beside the point.   There are so many new discoveries from the most recent "Woman X" , Desinova homonin, discovered a few years ago in Siberia and apparently shares little in common with either Neanderthal or Modern man. and the Homo Floresiensis or "hobbit" that has been both found in Indonesia, and rumored to still exist today in limited numbers, although they have not been found to date, other than rotting bones.   (not yet, anyway.)

  So add to it a dozen more variants and the historical evolution of modern man looks less like the traditional family tree and more like a tangled family shrub.   (Insert Jeff Foxworthy joke here.)

  

  

  The Usual Suspects?

  With modern genetic testing, we have found that interbreeding did in fact occur, and even today,  for example, the Denisova homonin tooth that was found shares about 4 to 6 percent of the genome with various modern humans in the asian continent as well as samples taken from Nigeria and New Guinea.

  Neanderthal shares around 4 percent with certain europeans as well.  

  The differences in geography probably lends itself to why one variant is more predominate than the other in different areas.   It's harder to tell, because of modern travel, and I would be interested to know if an older genetic group, such as those in iceland would give us more information.

  So do we assume that the smaller populations of Neanderthal and his cousins were bred into (or out of) modern man?

  

  Which brings us to the Bigfoot theories, rather than an undiscovered primate, is it not more realistic that they are, in fact, a descendant of Neanderthal, or Denisova homonins?

  

  Once you take away the myth, exaggerations, and hoaxes, the sheer volume of sightings, (both in the north american and elsewhere;  The Himilayan Yeti, the Chinese Yeren, the Vietnamese Batutut, and the Siberian Chuchunya amongst a dozen others.) lends credence to it's existence.

  So maybe we do have a species of Neanderthal that exists on the fringes of modern man, hidden from us by the millions of acres of woodlands and geographical parts of our land that rarely see a human presence.

   One of the best form of evidence seems to have been that the strange unidentifiable hairs that are found and held to be belonging to the elusive creatures...

  They are usually mentioned as being coarse and reddish in color, but testing cannot seem to find a home for the hair, except for the fact that they most likely belong to a higher primate as yet unidentified.

 "We found a variant of MC1R in Neanderthals which is not present in modern humans, but which causes an effect on the hair similar to that seen in modern redheads," said lead author Carles Lalueza-Fox, assistant professor in genetics at the University of Barcelona, Spain.

  

   It would seem that the more that we understand about the Neanderthal, suggests that they were intelligent, capable of speech, and in many ways, not so dissimilar from modern humans in appearance, except for the larger muscle tone, and facial features.   

  So while a shape running past you in the woods, can leave this imprint on your psyche;

  However, you might actually have a better chance at runing into something more like this;

  Makes you think, huh?

  

  Imagine yourself as a member of a tribe of Sasquatch, you have family that look like the guy above, and you live yourself a simple agrarian life, migrating in the deep mountains, and for hundreds of generations, then you begin to hear stories, of skinny pale creatures that look kinda like you, but almost hairless and wearing odd looking skins.

  Hell, sounds like some kind of alien!

  Perhaps you've heard stories of your great grandparents trading with these lean olive skinned tribesmen who warned you of the pale people, ghosts that speak in a strange language and carry sticks that kill with the sound of thunder.   

  Gods?  Perhaps not, but a week ago your tribe began it's move northward and you scouted ahead, as a young man and you find this strange person dressed in bright colors and wearing odd clothes and you watch as they fire a walking stick at an animal, the one you were scouting with your favorite spear and it falls as if struck dead by the thunder.

  Every year more of your tribe and others that you run into discuss these strange things, among others, strange flat stretches that cut thru the forests upon which these ghosts travel along, riding in strange conveyances of unnatural shapes and colors.

  From the variety of them, you cannot even fathom how many exist, but look to your tribe and wonder how so few could fare against so many and despair, growing more cautious.

  Perhaps a few of your tribe have raided their settlements, small square structures of wood cut flat and other things that can only confuse you, perhaps even captured a few, and assimilated thru the tribe, into breeding stock?

  They are weak, and cannot speak the language, and are frail, but are legion, and deep inside you despair for your tribes future.

  So you migrate, and learn to melt into the forest, and live, knowing that one day there will be no more.

  Or maybe you have taken clothes, and ventured past them, your heart hammering in your chest, buried beneath clothes taken from their washings, close enough to see them, but not enough to speak to them, and watched them as they spend a day, a week on the border of your territory.

  Maybe even learned to live amongst them, blending in, learning the language, for a while before returning to your tribe?

  

  An Adult male Neanderthal?

   So if the mysterious Bigfoot is nothing more than a Neanderthal that's somehow managed to make it's way thru the ages to coexist, hidden from view, who knows what we might run into on our travels.

  Take away the minor genetic differences, and there might not be anything so different from so called modern man, save the ravages of a hard life and living off the land for generations.

  Are these men above what lives outside the fragile thread that separates civilization from something feared or dismissed as myth and legend?

  

  Do lost tribes of Neanderthal live on the edges of our world?

  

  Would we really know one if we met one?

  Does explain a few of my camping trips though....

  

  

GOP contenders...

  Okay, let's take a look as some of what the GOP is going to offer us in 2012...

  First up, Michele Bachmann,  A graduate of the William and Mary school of law but never took the Bar exam, even though she served as a Federal Tax Litigation Attorney for the Internal Revenue Service before quitting to become a full time mother and housewife....
  She has five children and has fostered over 20 most of whom were pregnant teens...
  She also spent time as a "sidewalk counselor" which is interesting...
  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, have you ever seen those protestors screaming and yelling outside of abortion clinics?
  Yep.

  She's currently a member of the House, and serves the 6th congressional district of Minnesota.

 Her views on same sex unions and abortion are anchored in the standard republican mantra that is part of it's fundamental base, and she is a mover and shaker in the tea party branch of the party...

  I don't see her really standing out in any way...   And she'll probably be seen as a less interesting version of Sarah Palin, who has expressed interest, but hasn't tossed her hat in the ring just yet...


  Okay, how about Rick Santorum...  Whew, what can I say, except it's the typical toe the party line, anti abortion, anti same sex anything, (what is up with the whole, if I call it a disorder, or wrong enough, then people will stop being gay, stop having sex, issue.)   and he has drawed parallels between Iraq and Lord of the Rings.

As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.

—Rick Santorum

  In 2006 he got booted out of office in Pennsylvania and has tried to get back into the public eye...
  So far, not so good.
  Something tells me this isn't going to be his time.


  Mitt Romney, considered by many to be the front runner for 2012,   Again we have the party line, no abortion, but he wants the decision out of the federal government and returned to state level...
  Gay and Lesbian rights, he says they should be able to serve openly, and while he doesn't believe that they should get married but does think that they should have all the legal benefits of a married couple.
  He is decidedly weak on 2nd amendment issues, having both supported the brady bill, and continuing to support a common sense "assault weapons ban".
  He also claimed to be an avid hunter (don't they all) but a little fact checking by the media found no record of him having ever had a hunting license of any kind.
  Sooooo...
  He's either a liar (politician???  say it ain't so!) or a poacher...

  Sheesh, from bland and blander to flip flopping falsehoods...


  There are a bunch of other contenders, but most all but a couple simply toe the party line in damn near every political checkpoint....



  Okay, gotta pause here...
  Lets go down the list on standard republican staples...
  Abortion;   the ultimate goal seems to be to have the practice banned except in the case of incest, rape, or when the mother's life is in danger...
              I get it, it's a horrible thing, but it's also a very private thing that really deserves to be kept between a woman, her significant other (for most cases, but that's another argument) and her doctor.
  I don't think that any doctor that specializes in abortions is a real doctor in the least, but c'mon folks, it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!   It's a very scary decision that has nothing at all to do with the running of the country any more than buying a contraceptive, or anything of that nature.
  Keep out, Dammit.   It's your achilles heel, GOP, let it go...   Yeah, tax dollars shouldn't have to pay for it, but the polarizing of the issue helps no one...

  Budget/Economy; Okay, a balance budget, a not paying out more than you take it, fiscal responsibility,  All of that is noble, and necessary to our country, but dammit, practice what you preach.  You guys get into power during the Clinton administration and begin spending like your trying to play catch up to the Democrats...
  So don't expect us to trust you until you figure that out yourself...   Don't blame it on the war, and don't blame it on the Democrats, just stop spending like a fucking teenager with a Gold mastercard, M'kay?

  Gay and Lesbian issues;  Again, refer to the Abortion part of this rant, none of your fucking business...   Getting a theme here?  What the hell does it have to do with the governance of the nation?
   What part of all men are created equal don't you get?   Equal under the law?
   What people do in the privacy of their own home is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
   Geez, it's like trying to talk to a child while spongebob is on the idiot box....

  Civil rights;  See above, and read it again...   All created equal, none of your business, every time you create a law to define something you box it into a niche and whatever doesn't fit, is excluded.
  As far as the Patriot Act, if you invade privacy to go on a fishing expedition, without enough evidence ahead of time,  your stepping on our rights...  Go back and read the 4th thru 8th amendments to the constitution...  If you have trouble, look it up on that internet your trying to censor...

  Crime; the big issue here is the death penalty.   Let's face it, spending 20 years or more before you get zapped is not what you can can call a deterrent to crime.   And just because it's called a Justice system, doesn't make it all that just, there are people today sitting in jail who have proven that they didn't commit the crime, but because of our judicial system they have to spend years getting their case retried or overturned, all on technical matters or specific hoops that have to be jumped thru, and don't even try and say it's anything other than a political matter by that time.
  Once your convicted, it doesn't really matter if your innocent or not.
  Yeah, death of a heinous criminal may bring some closure to a family, but not nearly enough.   Unless of course, you let the family pull the switch.
  But without a swift punishment, what's the point.

  Yeah, you say, but what about terrorists, and mass murderers, et al.   How about you build a maximum security prison for those who would normally be on death row, and lock them up until they die?
  No prison interviews, no cable television, no workout room, no nothing.  Just a bed, food, and sunlight from time to time until they die.
  Cruel and unusual?   Not really, just not a holiday inn.

  Drugs;   Well, the war on drugs has gone well so far, huh?  How about we start with decriminalizing pot use?   It's both been proven to be less damaging to the human body as Alcohol and has only really been criminal since the early eighties.
  Hell, how about placing it on the shelf next to the Marlboros and Newports and tax it just as much, think of the revenue, hell, think of the savings of not having to spend so much money on incarcerating so many non violent users...
  If that's too far, than reduce it to a minor misdemeanor, crank out fines and use the money to fund rehab, or something good...
  That way you both make money, save money, and most importantly, take a commodity out of the hands of drug dealers and economically starve their business.
  Again, non violent drug users should be able to rehab, not be placed in prison, when they could be a productive member of society, not a criminal in training.
  And stop calling it rehabilitation, it's a penal system, designed to punish...
  A little honesty in titles wouldn't hurt.

  Education;  The goal is to limit the federal strings attached to the school system and give more control of the child's education to the parent....
  Umm...    I got no problem with that...   As long as the kid learns how to read and write,  I'm all for charter schools and home schooling...

  Energy/Environment; no Kyoto protocols, more energy independence, and exploration, reduce our dependence on foreign oil by drilling and pushing alternatives thru tax incentives and keeping the government regulation to a minimum.   Okay, Kyoto is pretty unrealistic, with todays technology, and so far economically suicidal, but if the tax incentives can push private industries to pursue alternative methods...
  Here's how it works, kids.  You don't force people to do something because it's right, and because if you don't you'll have to pay higher taxes.
  You show them how much money you can save, with the handy side effect of being better for the environment.
  Smart in theory, but in practice, not quite there, huh.
  There's a huge argument when it comes to "clean" technology, such as Natural Gas exploration, but we'll cut that one for another day.
  As far as global warning, they don't believe it's a man made thing, but more along the lines of a natural cycle of the earth.
  Look, as long as it's politicized, you will get biased and politically motivated results, and no amount of goofy graph and monotone folksy speechifying by Al Gore or anyone else is gonna make me trust the numbers...
  It's probably a little of both, but until it stops being a political issue and gets left to the scientists...
  But the subject is damaged goods, and will take a lot of work to not be an either or issue.

  Foreign Policy;  okay, for the last few administrations and into this one, it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference.   Both parties spend money of foreign aid like it's made in a factory somewher...... Oh, wait...
  Debating this issue only counts if there's an opposition...  Which I can't seem to find... Both sides suck.

  Health Care;  Umm, here we go again....    NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, stop regulating our lives, let us be, and we can find a provider, because without government "help" manipulating the cost of insurance and benefits, then the system can begin to settle into something pre HMO, so stop trying to fix something that A; you have no business being a part of, and B; problems that you (both parties here!) helped create.
  No where in the constitution do I see anything that can be construed as an obligation of government to provide health care...

  Gun Control;  Boy this might take long, so I'll save the details for another time...   Look, since the supreme court has already ruled a few times that the 2nd amendment is an individual right, how about you stop with the stupidity, and this applies to both sides.  You wouldn't regulate speech, to what can be said (okay yeah you would) so why regulate gun control.
  The GOP is normally pretty supportive of the 2nd amendment, so I'm okay with that...

  In case your wondering, I support anything that promotes individual freedom and rights, and anything that restricts those rights, is vehemently opposed.   I want as much freedom as possible.
  I mean, restricting a right makes about as (censored) much (censored) as a (censored) in a (censored and tagged for potentially violating decency standards.).

  Social Security;  People should have the choice to invest in private retirement accounts.
  Why not, SS is pretty much fucked beyond all repair anyway...  Don't kid yourself, it's fallen apart years ago and now on life support...  Should have had a DNR.

  Tax Reform; the standard tax cuts and managing the budget.
  Yep...   How about a flat tax/consumption tax and take the whole guess work out of it?  No deductions, no write offs, everyone pays an equal and fair share???   No?...   Fuck off about real reform then...  and call me when you actually get serious about tax reform.

  Welfare Reform;   Get more people off welfare and into jobs, cut benefits that negate the incentive of getting jobs...
   Yeah, lets back burner that until the economy no longer sucks.  Sound like a plan?




  I know, I know, there are a bunch of other issues, but most of the group running for nomination all fall into that basic mold....

  Except.....

  Two are simply outside of the box as far as I can tell....

  First up, we have....

  NEWT GINGRICH; Former speaker of the house, writer, and architect of the "republican" revolution that pretty much bitch slapped Clinton in his first term...
  Hated by the press, but anyone that pisses off that many people has got to be doing something right, so lets see where he stands...

Newt Fucking Gingrich!

  That's right, the architect, the man, the legend...

  Okay, so he's pretty much lock, stock, and barrel with the standard modern Republican line, because he wrote it.  

  Yeah, probably won't get the nod, but wouldn't it be nice?

  Can you imagine the Saturday Night Live skits?

  Seriously though, with this guy, you at least know what to expect, and that's something that you rarely find in politics.

  I may not agree with everything he says, but you gotta admire his drive...  He didn't whine and run away all pissy like Pat Buchanan when he doesn't get his way....

  Agree or disagree, at least you won't get a switch and bait job.   He's Newt fucking Gingrich...

  But is he the future of the republican party???

  Is he there last hope???

  No......

There is another.......

  

  Hmmm....
  Just who the hell is this guy, Ron Paul...  wasn't he a Libertarian?  How the hell did he end up a Republican choice?

  Well...  How does he stack up on the issues?

  Abortion;  Well, he opposes abortion....
  Yeah, I kinda figured...
   But he doesn't think that the Federal Government should play any role in the matter, and quotes the 9th and 10th amendment that the issue should stay with the state, if at all....
  Far out...

  Stem Cell Research;  He supports the research and sponsored the Cures Can Be Found Act of 2007 to promote stem cell research thru tax incentives....
  Huh....

 The Budget; thinks spending should be based on the Constitution, and if all spending had to be justified by the constitution, that spending would drop considerably, that we've come to accept debt, and that we shouldn't.   That war in the Middle East is something we simply cannot afford.  He also believes that the Federal Government has no business bailing out private industry.
  Can't disagree, really.

  Gun Control; He is pro gun rights, and doesn't believe in restricting constitutional rights, and believes that gun control actually makes things worse by disarming the public.
  It's like he trusts us more than the government....

  Death Penalty;  He opposes it.  It's not enforced uniformly and that the system is flawed and that innocent people have been killed.
  Um..  Wow.

   Civil Liberties;  He believes that government should stay out of gay and lesbian agendas, it has no place there.  That the Patriot Act should not be made permanent.  That Washington should not be allowed to dictate personal behavior.  That freedom of speech including the internet should not be regulated or taxed, and that Eminent Domain should be illegal...
  Fuck yeah!  wait, was he serious?

  I mean, is he really the smaller government, keep your hard earned money cause you know better how to spend it that government does, the stay out of our personal lives, as much freedom as we can handle, restricting how much control government has over us, kinda candidate?

  It's kinda hard to believe that someone like that is even looked at by either party..
  Wait, the elections are in 2012...

  Must be another sign of the coming apocalypse...


  So there you have it...   My rather limited overview of the upcoming nominations from the GOP...

  Ron Paul is the only one that I see as actually offering something new, but then again, it's his libertarian roots, that both make him appealing, and at the same time, make any chance of him actually getting nominated pretty nil.
  Still, he's the only one that seems to be thinking outside of the GOP standard line.

  When is either party going to recognize that the public isn't easily categorized or shoved into a cookie cutter template of voter blocks...
  yeah, I know....


  But at least this guy is got something to say, instead of the other ventriloquist acts...
  I'll watch the debates if he's in them...

  I share allegiance with neither party, and simply put out my observations as simply that...

 Observations....  and perhaps a word of advice to all running....



Please.....

 Pretty please.....


   Whatever you do, just try not to fuck up too much....


               Okay?












     Thanks...

Decisions decisions....

  So I've begun looking at the potential candidates for the next presidential election....

  yeah, it's a lot like that...






  I don't follow any party line, and in many ways you could say that I was a Policial Athiest.


  However, that doesn't absolve me from trying to make informed choices in the elections...


  Yes, I know that it's still a ways off, but I figure I'll get in on the action now...  See, with the democrats, it's easy, there going to try and re elect the incumbent...
   So it's Obama for them....  


  Whatever, he was pretty vague about the Change that he promised and so far, it doesn't seem to be for the better, his health care plan is great...   If your healthy, that is.
  I won't go into details, but have you ever noticed that when Government tries to fix something, a lot of political posturing is made, a lot of people are jumping to one side or the other of an issue, but for the most part, (aside from politically motivated ideologues) health care professionals are rarely asked what they think needs to be done?
  Yeah, what's the old line, We're from the government and we are here to help....
  


  So how's that change coming?


  Did he form a foreclosure prevention fund to keep homeowners from becoming homeless?
  Yeah, right, 75 billion later, and the major lending banks had a huge influx of money with no strings attached by the fed.
  So let me get this straight, that's how we help people falling behind, by giving banks money???
  Here's a few sources if you wanna read more, but have some aspirin ready, (generic of course...)
Govt’s Loan Mod Program Crippled by Lax Oversight and Deference to Banks - ProPublica
https://myaccount.nytimes.com/auth/logiURI=http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/30/opinion/30barofsky.html&OQ=Q5fQ72Q3dQ31

  Did he end income tax for seniors making under 50 grand?   Yep he promised that... Nope, he's done nothing...


  But what about the big ones?
  Did he let the Bush tax cuts expire?  well, there are many reasons, you see, and the economy is doing kinda not so swell, so we didn't let them expire, but hey!  we didn't make em permanent either, we just kinda extended them...   Until around the next election cycle... 
  Huh.  So, your procrastinating or just saving it for political hay before your next election?


  Close Guantanamo Bay???   No, huh....   
  Iraq and Afghanistan???   Hell, we got Bin Laden, where's the.... what?  Libya?  huh?
  
  So what have we gotten?


  Healthcare...  Yeah, because it works so well now...


  The Deficit...  If your credit cards are maxed and your deep in debt, you don't look to get another credit card....


  The stimulus package...  Ummm   did it even come close to working?


  Partisanship...   For someone who promised to reach out, honestly, we thought you meant to the opposing party, not your own...


  And for the love all all that we hold dear, STOP APOLOGIZING for everything you "think" America has done wrong...
  You apologized to the French....   because you believe that we've been acting arrogant towards europe.   Aside from the fact that we made sure that the french don't now speak german, WHY?
  You apologized to various nations for our stance on arms control because we actually have used a nuclear weapon....   (You know, to end world war two in the pacific theater?  History anyone?)
  He even apologized for the Bay of Pigs debacle....   Really?


   Okay, okay, he didn't use the word, but used words like mistakes, past history, and other sorta mea culpas for things that would, what?  Make the world think your a humble guy?


  Wake up, the President of the US isn't supposed to be humble, or talk to our allies and other nations with a hat in hand, oh gee, were sorry kind of behavior...


  If your really concerned that america had screwed up...  Your right, we sure have, and your job, is to make sure that we don't fuck up again....


  Jeez, man, grow a pair...




   So here's to you, Incumbent hopeful in the next election, and to all that you've accomplished so far;

   And in case you think that I'm some right wing fundamentalist...

  Stay tuned...
  The GOP is next up....

Dr Horrible

   Okay, So this is a musical....   I normally hate musicals....   All those pointless segues into song and weird asides.  Yeah, there was some interesting music in Moulin Rouge, but I credit that to Fatboy Slim, and yeah, HAIR was awesome, and perhaps you could include Sweeney Todd, but that also had a great production design, and who knew that Sasha Baron Cohen could sing?

  But then, thru my admiration of Firefly and Serenity (Which are in the top ten of any science fiction list that I might make.) I was introduced to this little 45 minute mini movie marketed thru the internet and word of mouth.
  To be honest, I was dubious, but Joss Whedon's writing has always impressed me.   (Okay, Buffy was one of those things I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to watch, and amazingly I was addicted by the end of the first season.   Seriously, the writing is that good.)


  So without further ado....

  Dr Horrible's Sing along Blog is a tragic comedy musical set in three acts.  
  Among the multiple awards it has won, including the Peoples Choice Award, The Hugo for best short presentation, and a creative arts Emmy, it became somewhat of an underground sensation and for the most part went undetected in mainstream film.

 
  In Act I we are introduced by maniacal laughter to our Dr,  played with absolute perfection by Neil Patrick Harris, who is telling us his progress on several nefarious plans he has for ascending to something akin to an evil mastermind, with notions of ruling the world.
  It's both charming and novel in the format of the video blog.
 
  But here's the moment, I dreaded, the segue into a musical number.

    

   To be honest, I was impressed, the music was catchy, and not at all what I expected, instead of some obvious ode to mad scientists, we get this awkward devotion to a girl who barely knows he exists...

  Just as I was getting into the song we are interrupted by Moist, his err henchman.  Simon Helberg plays him with a resigned goofiness that is kinda funny, but in a dry (okay, couldn't help it) humor.
  He has the particular "superpower" of simply making people uncomfortable by sweating profusely.
 

 
  He has brought the mail an they talk about a less than eventful double date before Dr Horrible finds a letter from The Evil League of Evil.   It's written by the leader of the organization, a character known as Bad Horse.
  OF COURSE being a musical, here's how the letter was read.

  So with plans for stealing a component for his freeze ray (It's not a death ray, it's a freeze ray.) he embarks on a elaborate heist using a remote control a widget and after a moment where he runs into the object of his affection Penny, and they finally speak, only to have him snub her rudely as he is of course on a mission.
  A mission which get's foiled by Captain Hammer, played with full on caricature of all macho heroes by Nathan Fillion, who seems to attack his character with amazing smarmy conceited delight.
  In short, he's a heel, who both pummels Dr Horrible....

  And save's (Sorta, Dr Horrible did manage to stop the van he had controlled before it would have hit Penny) Penny by chucking her into a garbage pile, of which she rises to fall for Captain Hammer.

   As Dr Horrible so eloquently put it....  Balls.

  Let's face if folks, I'm hooked at this point, and simply enjoying the ride.

  The second Act starts in with Dr Horrible spending time spying on the budding relationship between Penny and Captain hammer.

  Dr Horrible actually succeeded in stealing his parts and is now able to assemble his Freeze Ray, but the Evil League of Evil sent him another singing letter to tell him, that they are disappointed in him, and nothing short of destroying Captain Hammer will get him into the League now.

  Dr Horrible, of course, tells about the successful completion of the Freeze Ray and plans to use it the next day.

  Turns out that Captain Hammer also watches his video blog, and foils his plan which he relates to us in his next blog in a subdued but rather hilarious fashion.
  Dr Horrible isn't ready to go that final step for the League just yet,  also not willing to commit murder to  achieve his place within the League just yet.
  The next day, Dr Horrible is meeting with Penny at the laundromat when she tells him that Captain Hammer is planning on stopping by........

  Now we enter Act III; and Dr Horrible puts his plan to thwart Captain Hammer once and for all, and to somehow win Penny to his side.
  Things go wrong, and by wrong, I mean the film takes a turn for the tragic in a way that catches you off guard and hits you like a punch in the gut.

  I have got to say, the last few minutes are touched with brief snippets of humor, but laced throughout with the kind of ending that only Joss Whedon can do.

  His grasp of the character, and the simple comic book plotline, lull you into a moment when you just stare for a few moments as the screen fades to black and your left with the feeling that you've just been manipulated by a master.

  Go out and get this little musical, even if you hate musicals.

  It's simply that good.

Miracle Mile

 


  Okay, a few of you may have seen this, and it's not exactly that rare, although you won't find it without looking for a bit.
  However.
  With big budget mindless drivel like 2012 floating around and boasting mind boggling special effects, (most likely to divert your attention from the lack of a coherent plot or anything resembling character development) sometimes the filmgoer feels the need for a palate cleanser.   
  Thus i present Miracle Mile for your consideration.

  We start with a new couple, Harry (Anthony Edwards, from ER and Revenge of the Nerds) and Julie (Mare Winningham, Threshold, St Elmo's Fire) as they go thru the things that new couples do and hit it off.   
  While Julie is not that well fleshed out as a character, you do find a kind of sympathy as she is forced to deal with her estranged parents who refused to see each other, she really isn't given much to work with as a character, but that's okay as it's Harry who really is the center of the film.
  Harry has agreed to meet Julie at an all night diner and a rolling power outage screws up Harry's alarm clock.   Julie gets pissed and goes home, while Harry arrives hours late, and thus finds himself alone outside the diner feeling as if his world has come to a shuddering halt, the girl of his dreams (Okay, so he's got simple tastes, but their relationship really isn't the high point of the film, so bear with me...) has taken off...
  ... And then the phone rings.

    A frantic voice on the other end of the phone is talking about a nuclear launch.  There is yelling, then gunshots.   Is this an elaborate hoax, a call from a mental hospital, or the real deal?


  This is where the film starts for me.
  With all the conspiracy themed doomsday films, or the downtrodden scientists that "discover" the signs/signal/evidence, while tapping away on their laptop, and  suddenly has to be the 'voice' that sets the events in motion, with lotsa montages of military troops getting prepared, VIPs looking oh so serious, and plans being made, this film takes a different, and to me, more realistic tone.


  Harry wanders into the diner and starts babbling about the crazy phone call that he just had.   
  This sets into motion a series of events that create citywide panic, and that is where the film differs from so many other apocalyptic films.


  Most "everyday" type characters essentially are nothing of the kind.  They are driven by a need to save everyone that they can, to alert the world to the dangers on the way.   There is usually an ex wife and a kid, probably a stepdad in the way as well, but we know that he'll get his wife back, be his kid's hero, and the stepdad will, by some "unforseen" event get smacked to the side, or the wife will simply realize that our hero was the one for her all along.
  I see this basic plot in a film, especially a disaster/end of the world film, and my bullshit radar starts making a clacking drone, much like the angry bug drone of a 50s era geiger counter.


  Harry simply wants to get his girlfriend and get out of town.  When he tells people, the consequences have very bad results.
  People panic, people die, and Harry feels the full weight of it on his shoulders.
  Of all the roles I've seen Anthony Edwards in, this is by far his best.  He shows a sensitive everyman far from the stereotypical hollywood good guy, and gives Harry a soul, a sense of "real person" grounding the film and making us honestly care.

  There are no dirtbag "bad guys" to overcome, no cute kids or dogs that will somehow make it with some plucky luck and some contrived "in danger" scenario to make it thru.
  It's a simple story, but when you strip away the standard tropes that plague most of this genre, you find a compelling and riveting journey thru a cityscape that becomes eerie and increasingly surreal and violent.  


  Within a few hours, Harry finds himself in an altercation with the police, driving a stolen police car, making unlikely friends, finally finds Julie (who has taken a few valium and is pretty much out of it.) and races desperately to get to the top of the tower, hoping against hope that the helicopter hasn't left them behind.


  As the movie progresses, we begin to see signs of a panic settling into the sleepy early morning streets until the city explodes into full panic.

  During this whole time, there are little hints, questions that perhaps the phone call might have been a hoax, that the missiles haven't been launched, that this was all some kind of misunderstanding.
  
  The panic sets in, and it's infectious, and we see our modern civilization reduced to absolute chaos and unrestrained violence, as people try desperately to make a mad dash out of town.
  
  It makes you think about your own town, where would you go?  How would you escape?  Would you simply find a loved one and curl up with them and hold them as the bombs dropped.
  Is the instinct to survive enough?
  I find myself questioning what I would do, do I try and gather my family up and make an escape?   Would I lose hope?  Would I try and spend what little time I had telling them all the things that I wish I would have said, or would I take them and run, hoping against reason that a chance, however slim, might exist?


  Harry and Julie make it to the high rise, as Harry begins to have the doubts of what has happened, has he caused all this?

  Would it have been better to ignore it, let the city sleep unawares, live the remaining hours without the violent anarchy of which Harry now feels he is the architect?
  

    
  On the roof, we meet Gerstead (Kurt Fuller; Waynes World, Auto Focus ) drunk and meeting his own demise the way most of us would like to say we would, cheering and yelling as trails of missiles stream across the sky, confirming Harry's belief and letting the audience know that the end is upon them.


  The Helicopter is nowhere to be seen until the last moment when we see it come in, the pilot (Brian Thompson; Cobra, The X Files) bleeding from injuries, and our couple are lifted into the air, as the first nuclear blast happens, ending Gerstead's revelries and knocking out the helicopter power thru an EMP.


  They crash into the La Brea tar pits, sinking beneath the surface, Harry trying to the last to calm down Julie, explaining how in a million years they would become a diamond, a thing of beauty.

  "People always think they have so much time... to do all the things they'd like to do..."




  

Between The Dense Gray Matter Between My Ears

Welcome to the madness.

  Here you will find reviews of those lost and forgotten genre films that have slipped into the obscurity of time and misfortune, as well as genre staples and unclassifiable oddities.

  Rambling tangents on everything and anything from the Art of Steampunk to Zombies and The End Of The World As We Know It.

  Here you will see the world thru my eyes...   Real and Imaginary.

  Enjoy your stay.